Mayo Clinic

Lunch time. I'm hungry for a ham salad sandwich but... NO MAYO?!?! I knew I forgot to get something at the grocery store yesterday.

I had heard all the horror stories about making mayo at home, such as people's arms falling off, whisks disappearing into the depths of spacetime from so much centripetal motion... really? Is making mayonnaise really that difficult? It can't be... so I set off on a quest (actually, I just Googled "how to make mayo"). The first search result was an article on About.com. That's a good place to start, but how can I add my own twist? Here it goes:

• 1 egg yolk
• olive oil and/or vegetable oil
• fresh lime juice (or lemon juice. I just like lime better)
• salt
• paprika
• black pepper
• garlic powder

1. Use an electric mixer or hand mixer at a low setting... or use a whisk, if you're a masochist or don't own a mixer. No blenders, no food processors.
2. Beat egg yolk to get the emulsion started. Add a few drops of lime juice and mix.
3. Add a tiny bit of oil and mix.
4. Add another bit of oil and mix.
5. Add another bit of oil... you get the picture. Repeat until the mixture has the consistency of mayo because, after all, that's what we're making. You won't need to use more than a cup of oil. I like it eggy, so I didn't use much oil at all. If you use olive oil, the mixture will be more yellow than mayo. Even vegetable oil won't be as white as commercial mayo, so don't keep adding oil because of the color -- just watch the consistency.
6. When you're done, add a pinch of salt and mix.
7. If you'd like to make it more "fun", add a little more lime juice, season it with your favorite spices (mine were paprika, black pepper and a hint of garlic powder) and blend them in.

As for the ham salad... well, I just chopped some ham slices in my little food processor and mixed it with the mayo. Put it on bread, top it with cheese and enjoy your lunch!

Lime Cream... Brulée?

I just got a bunch of limes today and I was wondering what to make with them... I googled up "lime recipes" and a ton of pie recipes popped up. I'm not feeling pie right now. Maybe I could turn the filling into a pudding, but lime pudding calls for condensed milk, which I don't have. But how do you MAKE condensed milk? With stuff I do have -- and I can use Splenda to boot. After a lot of improvising, this is what I came up with:

• boiling water (boil 3-4 cups to be safe)
• 1 stick of butter
• 2 cups Splenda
• 4 cups powdered milk
• a splash of vanilla or almond extract
• juice of 5-6 fresh limes
• zest of 1 limes

1. Juice the limes ahead of time. I used 4 limes and it didn't turn out as limey as I had hoped.
2. Cut up the stick of butter, put it in a blender with the Splenda, 1 cup boiling water and the extract. Mix well.
3. Mix in the powdered milk one cup at a time. The mixture thickens fast, so you might have to add a little more water. You want the consistency of pudding as the blender is mixing. It sets a little when it's not mixing, so don't wait too long for the next step...
4. ...in fact, just keep the blender on low. Add in the lime zest and lime juice, which may cause the mixture to curdle a little bit. If that happens, turn the mixer on higher. If it still doesn't mix well, stop the blender and mix it with a spoon until it's a little more homogeneous and start the blender again. In the end, it should look like pudding.
5. Put the mixture in a bowl.
6. Now the "brulée" part of the recipe is optional -- I did it just to show off. Turn the oven to broil and put the (oven-safe) bowl in. Keep a close eye on it! It burns fast. When it's a little brown, like crème brulée, pull it out of the oven.
7. Let it cool to room temperature. Cover it with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge.
8. Enjoy it!

It probably would've been better with store-bought condensed milk and cream, maybe eggs... Let's just say it's not my greatest recipe, but it's still tasty. I promised myself I'd post even the so-so recipes, and this is the first one of them. How can you make it better?